Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Maybe Someday... (Me trying to start up a novel idea)

Hi!
I know I've really been neglecting this blog. Writing is just SO time consuming, and I never have time for it! But I have an idea for a book, and I'm going to try it. Here's my idea:
A story of a child/tween/teen (undecided) who dreams of a better life. The title, "Maybe Someday" would be representing the kid's hopes and I would end each chapter with "Maybe someday <hope>." This story requires a lot of research, since I don't know much about orphans. I've done a bit, so I think I have enough for at least a rough-draft page. Anyway... We'll see.

     The morning light filtered through the old, worn cutains that hung limply over the window. I blinked my eyes slowly and rolled over. I moved a hand out from under my scratchy blanket and brushed my orange hair out of my face. My mouth gaped wide in a huge yawn as I sat up. I looked around the room I share with 3 other girls. It seems they are all still asleep. I can see Sarah's dark brown curls flipped over the edge of the bunk above mine.
     Dragging myself up, I pull my feet to the edge of the bed and stare down at my blue pajama pants. They're really too small for me, but I don't think about it. Across the room in the bottom bunk of the bed, I see Madison stirring. I rush to the dresser to grab my clothes and claim the bathroom before someone else does. All four of us share a small squished bathroom, so getting ready in the morning is a battle of sorts. As I scurry past Madison to the bathroom door, she makes a face at me, squinting her eyes. I wink at her, "You snooze you lose."
     I close the door and pull on my rather ratty blue jeans and a green tunic that I have to squirm into. I desperately need some new clothes, but, so does every other kid in this sorry place. I run a plastic comb through my hair and try and force it to look nice. I scrub my teeth with the toothbrush I've had since I can remember. It's pink with green dots all over it. Finally I walk out the door.
     My three room-mates and friends stand outside in their own battered pajamas, rubbing the sleep from their eyes and blinking at me. "Early-birds..." Vicky, who's a zombie in the morning, grouchily mumbles. I chuckle and slip on my shoes. "I want to get to the library before breakfast." I inform them. I walk out of our dorm and head down the hall to the stairs.
      When I reach the library, I smile. This is my favorite place. It's a small room, with grey-chipping walls. There are two book shelves, sepersted into novels and picture books. The librarian, Ms.Thompson, is sitting at her little desk, reading a book with a light blue cover. She glances up and gives me a tiny wave, quickly returning to her novel.
     I stroll over to the "big kids" bookshelf (the one with novels) and select "Charlotte's Web" out of the rows. Swooping down into the single red armchair, the pages flip open easily, and I begin to read. I love books, they have a mystical way of taking me away from this wretched orphanage and off to new places.
    I read for a long long time, but it doesn't feel that way. Soon Ms.Thonpson reels me out of my fantasy world, "Go on downstairs or you'll miss breakfast!" I groan. Miserably, I shut "Charlotte's Web" and slide it back on the shelf. We're not allowed to borrow books from the library anymore. We used to, but a bunch of kids were stealing them.
     On my way to the cafeteria, I think about my reading. Fern, Wilbur and Charlotte live on a farm. I think a farm sounds nice. You would have lots of room, animals, and it would be peaceful, away on your own. Maybe someday, I'll leave Pinewood Orphanage and go live on a farm.

Please critique, (NICELY) in the comments! Thank you!



6 comments:

  1. Love this idea! It sounds like a really fascinating and unique concept. You have some very lovely imagery - I especially liked "Swooping down into the single red armchair, the pages flip open easily". A critique would be to show the main character's thoughts more - I loved when you said "I think about my reading. Fern, Wilbur and Charlotte live on a farm. I think a farm sounds nice. You would have lots of room, animals, and it would be peaceful, away on your own. Maybe someday, I'll leave Pinewood Orphanage and go live on a farm." because it really showed an insight into the MC's thought process. In the rest of the story, you talk a lot about what the MC //does// "I inform" "I groan" etc., but there's not a lot in there about what she's //thinking//. However, I do really love this piece, and I can't wait to see more!

    - Ellie
    ontheothersideofrealitynew.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you very much!
      I think you're right about the thoughts vs. actions. I'll try to include more in the next page.
      I just realized that throughout the whole page, I never mentioned te MC's name. Hmm.
      I'm glad you liked this and I really appreciate your critique! It's always helpful to have more experienced writers scan over my work.
      <3 Tenley

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  2. This was amazing. I loved all the description that you put in here, and I really felt like I was walking into an inviting library, taking a seat, and reading Charlotte's Web myself.
    I can't really say anything against this except what Ellie brought up-it would be nice to kind of step into the MC's mind. (wow that sounded creepy...)
    ~Kathryn
    P.S. Do you have a pen name?

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    1. Oh thank you so so much Kathryn! I'm really flattered that you enjoyed this.

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  3. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! This is amazing Tenley!!! :D

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